I know there's plenty of talk about women being each other's own worst enemies. We call each other bitches and hoes, talk about one another behind their backs, and judge each other more harshly than men judge us sometimes! We work so hard to bring each other down only to give ourselves a small boost in ego. Rather than take the bull by our insecure horns and face the real reason for our own depleted self image...rather than build each other up we're just another enemy tearing each other down... This has been an issue plaguing women for some time now, and I too am no perfect saint in these matters.
I guess I never imagined that type of behavior to cross into one of the most sacred experiences that a woman could go through. I knew I'd have to fend off comments when I got pregnant, I knew that not everyone would have a filter and freely say what was on their mind whether their opinion was asked for or not. I knew all that. I just didn't know to what extent and how much it would bug me. I knew to expect it from grandmas and moms of old, I didn't know to expect it from new moms and non-moms either. Call it my new pregnancy pet peeve...but I must finally speak out!
So here's my opinion, in case you have or have not asked for it.
Yes, this is my first pregnancy.
No, I don't know exactly what to expect.
Yes, I have a reasonable idea of what to expect.
Yes, my belly will only grow larger.
Yes, I will only get more uncomfortable.
Yes, I carry bigger than other women.
No, there's not three in there.
No, it's not the world's biggest baby.
Yes, your comments about my size are offensive and unwelcome.
Yes, I will only become more sleep deprived.
No, I don't want to talk about my labor fears.
No, I don't want to hear about how terrible your labor was.
Yes, I will probably get some stretch marks.
Yes, I will probably have some unnecessary weight gain.
Yes, I hope to return to my previous size after the pregnancy.
No, I don't think it's impossible.
No, I won't think because you didn't, I can't.
Yes, I need practice to be a mom.
No, I probably won't get that practice until mine is born.
Yes, my baby will turn out just fine.
No, you weren't always a "pro" either.
Yes, things are different now than "in your day".
Yes, every older generation of women feel that way.
Yes, I know that this is real now.
Yes, I know that we're in it for the long haul.
Yes, I understand nothing will be the same when the baby's born.
Yes, that's why we decided to have a baby in the first place.
Yes, I find your comments to be condescending and degrading.
No, I won't have first-hand knowledge of anything until I do it...so let me do it!
Let us 1st timers go through this without you looking down on us. Remember when it was your first time and you didn't want everyone's advice, everyone's two cents, everyone's "just you wait!"? I'm sorry if this is your way of lamenting that you're not experiencing your first pregnancy, again or for the first time. Your time will come or your time had come. Let this be my time.
Let's learn to uplift women through each of these times, lets let them shed all their baby pounds and let's let them keep on a few extra. Let's let them make "new mommy" mistakes, and let's not even notice they made them. Let's give a caring smile when they're tired and let's understand when they feel like an elephant.
And let's let me please remember how I felt when I went through my first pregnancy, and let me be a cheerleader for all others going through theirs.